Thin Line

Ever thought about the line that could be crossed without effort ? It’s so easy to move from genuine concern to something like absolute disrespect. It’s probably ok when the switch over happens without knowledge. However concern to disrespect is a thin line. Folks forget how thin. One could disagree with someone else and in the course of that disagreement articulate something that one wishes they had not. One should be able to respect choice as well as show disagreement.  One could call this the thin line. 

For me there is no line; not now and not yesterday also I don’t believe it would exist in the future. A line represents a finite limit that could or could not be crossed. When one is in the state of learning there are no limits; everything just is and needs to be experienced to be quantified. This still does not answer the question around concern to outright disrespect. I had the chance a few days ago to experience what could be called this line. From my perspective the entire situation was disrespectfull; from another angle maybe I was the one that was being disrespectful. Such a thin line. 

I thought about it. It is so easy to be across the fence and in both cases be right from a point of view. One needs to reassess and in my reassessment I figured out the following 

1. Realise that disagreement does not automatically imply disrespect. - a point of view or perspective  is not a sign of disrespect. One can agree or disagree with the point of view. What is important is how you articulate the disagreement. It’s very easy to change the context of a few words from being a show of disagreement to one of being disrespectful. Being able to be precise in the choice of words will always help. 
2. Respect is not uncompromising - a disagreement is not a personal attack. Guardrails are important for any conversation, and as long as the guardrails are agreed upon then there could be zero personal attacks. 
3. Listen - Do not yell; you will not be heard also at the same time do not whisper. Articulation of an argument in simple words with no bias is the best. One needs to listen first to create a valid argument. Once the argument is constructed put it forth with no bias. 
4. Disregard the person - a person plays a role , we may or may not agree with the role and or the outcomes of the actios taken by that role. Attacking the person for the role that they play is shallow and morally wrong. 
5. Be Kind - in a discussion its is extremely easy to move some genuine concern to being disrespectful. Questions one asks and the articulation of those questions could so easily move from concern to being disrespectful. Be mindful of the words used and always be kind.

More often that not one does not know that words and actions out of  concern could also be disrespectful of the choice made. For me I love all choices the kids make; it shows that they understand the meaning of choice. I may not agree with some of  the choices they make; but will always make the effort to understand. To that goal for me the thin line if one could call it that is the understanding of the choice. Respect and chose to be respectful. If one makes the line a choice between respect and disrespect; it’s my opinion that it is an opportunity lost. 

C