Marriage

I had an interesting discussion with a couple of friends over the last few days; the discussion revolved around the concept of marriage. A couple of us got married fairly young (mid 20’s) but that was fine considering the social and cultural background we came from at the time; Today it would seem ridiculous to get married at such a young age. The discussion obviously got me thinking; what is the correct age to get married ?  The question is a bit loaded in the sense that it assumes that the people in question will remain married till death does them apart. It’s not necessary that a marriage lasts that long. If one accepts time/longevity as a variable in the equation of marriage then the question tends to get a little more complex. I have no clue what could be a correct answer to this question. Maybe at best I could explain my point of view on the concept of marriage and in the process discover a possible answer.

I wish I could subscribe to the notion of falling in love. One person asks the other person to spend the remainder of their life with them based on some emotional state; The emotional state being conditioned by a belief that something that one thinks of might come true in the future. It’s possible for sure but highly unlikely to succeed. There are success stories that justify this thought  process and an equal / maybe an higher number that prove the opposite. The success stories generally follow a concept of growing together. 

I can subscribe to the concept of growing in love. Something that is to an extent forced on a pair that under go a marriage based on South East Asian sensibilities. One is told that another is the families accepted suitable mate for one and that is it. One has no choice but to learn to love, learn to accept, and learn to just be. There are no pre conceived limits and one just learns to grow to love the other. No falling but growth. Don’t get me wrong; there are a fair number of marriages that don’t succeed in this construct too. The failures generally happen because one does not accept but decides on compromises. 

The two views presented can explain to a certain extent my point of view on love and the longevity of love. They for sure don’t answer the question posed earlier. What is the right time ? One is not able to time love or make a plan around it. The emotion just comes into being. Can one be prepared or have some semblance of preparation for the journey ahead ? To a certain extent yes. Spending what can be a lifetime with another needs some level of mental and emotional preparation. The more prepared one is, the likelihood of a successful relationship increases. There is the answer. It obviously helps if one is also economically prepared. But the crux is emotional and mental preparedness. 

One could get married at any legally acceptable age as long as they are mentally and emotionally prepared to share their life with another. 

C