Listen

I love music , all kinds of music. There is no judgement when I listen ; nothing ever sounds like noise. I can pick the tune/melody that may be  hidden and get with it. I enjoy metal; it pushes the concept of listening to its extreme. I would not like metal if I was judgemental in my approach. I am lucky that I can instantly and instinctively zone in to the core melody the rest dissolves away. I by no means have perfect pitch; I wouldn’t know a B flat from a C but identifying melody is easy. What if I could do the same in meetings or in day to day interactions…. truly listen; suspend all analysis and urges to comment or react. It would be the perfect way to understand and get to the heart of the discussion. The suspension of all analysis has to also cover the inner dialogue that takes place in my head while the interaction is on going. 

As an IT architect I am supposed to see 360 degrees I.e different points of view. Understand the various arguments put forth by the views and then come up with a solution that is best fit. Listening constituents better part of my work day. There are instances when I do react and at times tend to be arrogant enough to finish the sentence for someone else while they are presenting their point of view. However to be truly better at the job I do I need to listen more, like I do when I listen to music. Would save me time and effort. 

To listen one needs to silence the inner dialog. No listening is possible if you continue to have a dialog with your self. All you are doing is keeping quiet and possibly appearing polite as you don’t interrupt the other person. The inner dialog is good to have when you are alone; it helps clarify. An inner dialog while you are in the midst of company and having a discussion is a distraction. 

I resolved some years ago that I will do my utmost best to truly listen... no reaction, no commentary based on my ideas and beliefs, no judgement, nothing; pure and simple 100% attention. I wanted and want to listen period. Have not been a 100% successful all the time; mostly because of the inner dialog that accompanies me. 

Listening is the only way to learn more about people, about circumstances that I have no clue about, about systems that I still need to see and experience; basically learn about things I have not experienced first hand and the end result would be to grow as an individual. It will make me better at my job and essentially a better human. 

C