To the kids on their 21st

 We all turn 21 - it’s considered to be the coming of age in most cultures. Some consider 13 and 18 but in all most cultures; most think of 21 to be a nice number (Fibonacci , triangular numbers etc. if one wanted to look at the numerological significance) that signifies the coming of age. 

I look back to quite a few years ago and think about what would have been had I listened to advice (I didn’t think it was advice at the time) given when I turned 21. When one turns 21 there are a lot of people around one’s self that have a lot of suggestions; one most often than not one does not listen. Why? It simply boils down to a couple of internal biases. The first it is and has been ingrained that 21(or the other numbers that signifies a coming of age) is a milestone that allows you to think and act on your own ; and therefore one is not beholden to someone else and the second is one is full of energy about the possibility that exists and as such is not willing to listen to counsel from people that are older. The bias could be made much stronger especially if one is sure of themselves. 

Given those biases what would I say to myself if I had a time machine that took me back to my 21st birthday? Making a timetable was a skill I forgot by the time I turned 21 (something we do all through while in school) should I remind myself about this forgotten skill ? (I remembered much later - during my second job). Would I talk about emotional attachment and the positive as well as negative impact that it can have ? Or would I talk about theism?  Do I talk about the psychology behind many emotional reactions ? Or so many other subjects that I have learned since then? At the cusp of 50 I can’t think of what I would say to myself if I got the chance to go back in time. Extremely tough considering the fact that now I need to think about what to tell my children when they turn 21. I know that I can and will tell them whatever I believe would be the right thing to tell myself if I could go back in time.  Huge existential problem - I mean if I can’t think of anything that I will tell myself (if I do … I as I exist today doesn’t exist) what do I tell them?  I wouldn’t change a thing. We do need to pass on knowledge- it’s part of the human process to ensure that we pass on knowledge. What do I say in that case? These are the screwup’s? These are the excellent things? 

The world we know; we understand in reflection- it is but a fleeting opportunity; and so many years later I can say that there are opportunities that are lost. That is known as wisdom. It takes mistakes as well as success to make one wise. At 21 all I would have loved to hear from myself is - don’t worry you will get there. Simple words; all they do is reinforce my mental state of being and also tell me that the road is full of potholes that would need to be negotiated. 

I write to capture my thoughts for you in the knowledge that at some point in time something will resonate. As parents all Meghna and me could do is ensure the instilling of ethics and morality- that too (ethics and morality are dependent on the society) could change; I have no doubts about the change. One thing that I do expect is that the you give your utmost effort in whatever you do; it’s the one thing that I did not (I got bored very quickly; crappie excuse but it is what it is) 

The world is for you to take up at 21; very often we shy away or are not self aware or are simply bored. Let not a lack of confidence, self awareness or boredom be your excuse. 

C